When people celebrate the life of a loved one, we may wish for a visible sign. We heard today of a motorbike laying next to the loved one at the Crematorium, so why not a life size cow? It was what the person had asked for.
At a recent funeral the family were invited to be with their relative, to touch the coffin and have time with their loved one, for all to often we are asked to leave the chapel as soon as the service is over.
Is this where we lose that connection with death?
At today’s Death Cafe, after plentiful supplies of hot potato and onion soup, we heard questions from those who had joined us: 21 in all.
Earth, Ashes and Dust
Following on from the discussions about terramation – which is really earth to earth, we spoke of : spreading ashes, if we have permission from the landowner – ashes to ashes; and what happens to all those titanium hip and cobalt knee joints – they get recycled to a company in Sweden (amongst other countries) – that’s (metallic) dust to dust. Oh by the way, if we do go for a natural burial we would need to ensure that it was at least 250m from a water course and declare it when we sell the building/plot.
The ecological benefits from natural burial, terramation, aquamation, (and the difference between the two) and cremation were discussed. Interestingly legislation prevents crematorium from polluting excess CO2 into the air from their furnaces, with some even planting a tree for every person they care for, which eventually would mitigate towards the carbon monoxide added into atmosphere.
It’s personal
The Hindu religion promotes a greater contact with their loved ones. The men are encouraged to deliver their relative actually into the cremator, the coffin left open, and there is a viewing area to watch the process.
Can we reflect on what we are possibly avoiding as we journey with our loved one?
The decision to embalm the body is ours. Some reflected that the skin was taught, to which the response was that in death they may have been in pain, hence their face all wrinkled. Now they are without pain, hence the skin is relaxed. Can we see that?
Sugar or a G&T?
We offered templates for writing our own eulogy and some commented that we might “sugar coat” the lives of some people at their funeral. We wondered whether if we write our own eulogy, would we say how we really felt? Others had already prepared what music they wanted, and the words to be read, before a strong coffee or a G&T; one had prepared a regularly updated video self-eulogy. Does that encourage us to start?
Self-Eulogy Template (why not print a template off and start writing? add and embellish!
You are all welcome to the next Death Café on Tuesday 14th March (G431LH) – what question might you bring.
I found the dialogue interesting and I enjoyed it