At our Death Cafe today we spoke of life beyond today. We considered, whilst eating coffin shaped biscuits – why not? – what some might call their bucket list. We explored whether having a bucket list was simply a list of things to tick off or something more important than that.
The first response to what do we want in the future was “to live”. How to really live, to flourish, not merely survive. A few of us wanted to explore ourselves with the writing of a book. It could have been a book about our life, the funny stories that have happened to us, which those that follow in our footsteps may never have heard. It could be a type of journal which describes our life, the ups and downs, to highlight, possibly to grandchildren, what we have experienced, to explain why we are like we are. This might well be painful at times, but cathartic as we portray the real circumstances that we faced at the time. We might even consider writing our eulogy, or one for our partner. If we were to die before them, we might have the foundation of their eulogy to us, but at least they wouldn’t be scrambling around at such a painful time to discover what life had been like.
“The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.“
Muriel Rukeyser
We then explored, literally, the world. Was it Seychelles to bathe in the sunshine, or go to where the family is across the globe, or to see a musical we have always wanted to experience, to take in the vistas and smells of Firenze or Venice, or to climb to base camp of Everest? Such a diverse array of destinations – but with a common theme: it wasn’t where but to take in that experience. But why?
As we discussed, even considering journeying to the International Space Station, we pondered on what we might think as we looked back upon the surface of Earth, or contrary out of the other port hole, out into deep space? Would it be that we were insignificant or that we could see what issues lie in front of us?
One person wanted to walk again the West Highland Way with the family, to talk with those that they met, to share stories. And that was it: it may not be the destination but the people we would savour meeting with and sharing our experiences. When we have accomplished one bucket list, we might see what was on the horizon now.
We were writing the next Chapter of our life – not the last one. It was about writing, one day at a time, that chapter of our lives, experiencing and enjoying the wonders of life. It was about seeing that the ‘rest of our life’ wasn’t about being constrained by our own perceived boundaries but allowing life to flourish by being transformed by what we do, see, feel and hear.
That last line of our book may well be written by someone else. Let’s write our next Chapter, and make it one that doesn’t just tick off a list, but really transforms us, allowing us to flourish.
I loved the dialogue
It was a very positive time and the biscuits were tasty as well!