What might the Old Testament say?
Within Genesis 2:18-24 we have the first of two creation myths. Yes we are in Chapter 2 and another one is in Chapter 1 of Genesis but scholars suggest strongly that the one we have just heard is the initial story.
The book of Genesis is believed to have been written by 4 or more separate communities, so when we analyse the original text we can discern breaks and differences – but the theme is like a golden thread linking them all. Additionally, these stories originate from a raft of Babylonian creation stories involving Gilgamesh[1] and their other gods. Our creation stories have been crafted to give us a flavour, an indication of wonder of Gods power and love. And love is our theme for today – being in relationship.
We start with “it is not good” – interesting as our Genesis text will now have Chapter 1 repeating that and God said that it was good.
A Marriage?
We have man, adam, formed of the ground, adamah[2] – who needs a helper, not one to rule over. The man is asked to give names to each of the animals God creates – oh what fun we could have had with making up names which might describe them : long-nosed ear-waving trumpet or elephant, scary hairy and with googly eyes or spider. I think we might have lost something in the translation here.
Giving animals names, or pets for example, gives us a bond, it strengthens the relationship we have with them. But still there is something lacking. God creates a woman (ishahah) out of the man (ish) and she – our expression – and becomes his wife…
It is interesting that certain translations depict Eve as the wife of Adam when no marriage has taken place, no exchange of rings, certainly no wedding dress unless that fig leaf was decorated for the occasion.
At least the wedding would have been cheaper, financially, than some.
This new relationship is formed although this happy union is quickly strained.
Could it be about relationships?
Like all relationships we seek to be together. Some may prefer to be extrovert in their ways, openly expressing their love for one another, whereas others seek some solitude, quietly confirming their love. It is in this God-created relationship, this yearning for helping one another that God continues to seek. Maybe at this time your Church might be celebrating an anniversary, where the Church looks back to the joys and sorrows, in the rich times and when poor – and for that I can mean financially and spiritually – what now in these different days of normality? Yes, we may look back – if some are able – and see how the Church has developed
but even more importantly is where are we going and how, as God is our helper, will that be achieved?
New Testament
Before we look at the passage Mark 10:2-16, let’s look at marriage. We left the Genesis passage with Eve as Adam’s wife without any ceremony or even mention of a Honeymoon.
Back in Jesus’ day, within the Greco-Roman culture, marriage was contained within your own community. The high mortality rate meant that you would need a child to continue the family land rights. The head of the family was male because Roman laws advocated that the woman’s role was to have children. The man would in their twenties, the woman in her teen years. If a Roman wife had 3 or more children then she was afforded enhanced societal privileges. Luke and Paul don’t seem to agree about marriage: with Luke saying that marriage won’t occur in the KIn_dom of God (Luke 20:35) but Paul denouncing those who don’t marry (1 Tim 4:3). In fact in the late 1st C celibacy was considered better than second class marriage[3]. Later the idea of being consistent with whom you are in relationship, having many children and it’s a promise to God came into vogue[4].
Four historical stages of marriage
Marriage might be seen in four historical stages: up until 100 CE not essential; until 1200 CE, a secular institution; until 1650 CE it was a sacrament which could not be broken; and a partnership of progressively towards being equals from then on. Marriage has changed.
The Western Churches then started to take far greater control of marriage. In 1753, after the Hardwicke Act, marriages were to take place in certain Churches in England.
In our Bible there are many forms of marriage – not only one. For example the Levirate form where a man takes his brother’s widow to maintain the lineage, not really a choice, more family honour. Following a battle, men were able to select the most beautiful women, as a form of prize. We have virgins who are sexually abused would then be married to their rapist (Deuteronomy Chapter 22). We have polygyny seen with Abraham, Saul, David and Solomon. Is that marriage?
Divorce in Roman culture was for financial gain although only the man could initiate divorce. Reasons given where she commits commits adultery (what about the other person?) or for displeasing them – really?; however, the results were far more serious for the woman. Rejection by the family and locals, as well as social and economic devastation for her and the children.
The least of these…
Jesus’ debate with the Pharisees is more of a test for Jesus: one in that he takes a step sideways and speaks of the ‘least of these’ i.e. the woman. Here when Jesus speaks of divorce it isn’t about the legal ramifications but about the broken relationship – that is what truly matters. Patriarchy destroys the equality in the relationship.
Jesus is reiterating the importance of relationships, whereas we use the word marriage. He highlights the importance of the least of these yet again by introducing children again to the discussion – he started mentioning children a Chapter ago but still the disciples, bless them, haven’t understood as yet.
Inclusivity
Relationships are a means of being inclusive not exclusive. Whereas relationships can bring people together, in harmony, bring social and financial security, possibly even allow children into the mix, at every stage here is the principle of inclusivity, of welcoming those who can help, who together may flourish.
When marriage is mentioned we may have thought of the man taking the woman or as a property exchange: as my daughter stated “You are not going to give me away at my marriage”, and why should I agree to give away her as a chattel?
Marriage in the Bible is far wider in definition that a man and a woman: it is a God-given wonder of relationship between two people: then of ensuring that the woman wouldn’t have to beg or worse to make money, now, of equals together to flourish as one.
Challenge
And that brings us back to the Church today. What this world may seek, be crying out for today is not legalistic bonds but relationships of equals where we listen before we offer advice. Where relationships can be formed across boundaries previously thought impossible. So I challenge the Church to consider, which relationships may be needed to be strengthened, with whom do we need to form new relationships: where can we demonstrate God’s love of inclusion here?
[1] https://www.metmuseum.org/toah/hd/epic/hd_epic.htm
[2] https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-27-2/commentary-on-genesis-218-24-2
[3] Rosemary Radford Ruether, Christianity and the Making of the Modern Family, (London : SCM Press, 2001), p. 35.
[4] Connor McCarthy, Marriage in Medieval England, (Woodbridge: Boydell Press, 2004), p. 13.
I loved the reading this dialogue it was very interesting