It was two years ago that I, with many others, went forward to be ordained into the Methodist Church. It was a time of heady celebration mixed with trepidation of what was ahead. When the people at the service announced that “they are worthy” there was a feeling that this was a “crazy covenant” with God. I spoke of “Oh Wow!” at that time. So much has changed since that time.
The peculiarities and vagaries of mental health were never expected to take such a toll. Some have said that my time in active ministry was not that long, but at least “I lasted longer than a lettuce“. 😉
As I watch this year’s ordinands at their ordination service, I am filled with feeling of great joy for those that start on their journey of ministry, as well as the many who may also recall their anniversary of ordination. In the service I attended this morning, the minister spoke of ministry as one that is interrupted. Jesus is interrupted when trying to heal a wee lass (Mark 5) by a woman who had been ill for a long while. The wee lasses’ father would have been aghast that Jesus’ progress would have been inhibited by listening to this woman. I have loved those moments when visits to folk which might have been planned to last a quarter of an hour, might extend to an hour. Not because of the yummy cake on offer, but through a question or concern they had raised.
Interrupted ministry
I now feel that my ministry journey has also been interrupted: it’s not taken the path intended. It could be good to predict where we might be in a few years time – after a period of 5 years for Methodist ministers, but often that could go awry. Our journey has taken a turn when we least expected it. At this point, we might shout and complain that this should not occur; however, we can see this as a fresh challenge.
We took a photograph of a pathway in our garden. The plants have established themselves – code for overgrown. We have spent many hours now delicately curtailing their growth – code for hacking it back. But where does that path lead? : you wouldn’t know until you have gone well beyond the steps. You would have had to walk that journey to find where we would find ourselves. That is not only geographically, but also mentally and spiritually.
We may not know who we might meet. No problem: see the Christ in the face of each other. We may not know where we are going. No problem: allow the tension we might experience as the energy needed to explore.
Wherever we go, whichever path we find ourselves, go forward allowing ourselves to see something anew.
I found the dialogue interesting and I enjoyed it
For me, it has always been very difficult to move to some unknown place (quite hard) which I did several times in my life, all by myself (moving continents), but slowly I learned to adapt to it and felt satisfied when I managed it. However, in your case, you are moving near your family :-), and it seems obvious to me that it was pre-determined that you will be moving to your new home, if not very soon but may not be in the distant future.
But I agree, you may not have thought that your time in active ministry was going to be as short as it was. I sometimes think it not the quantity of time that we have spent in a role matters, but maybe the quality -how we have managed to impact some people’s life in our journey of life.
Also, perhaps it’s not just you, but the whole church might be going through the same “unknown” state of mind about the new ministers who are joining. How much time will they need to get accustomed to new ministers ? Will the new ministers be meeting the expectations of the church?
But where is God in all this ? Perhaps God has a plan for our lives. Maybe it is up to us to seek his directions?