Is that even possible? You can plan for a party or a trip to the seaside, surely that doesn’t take long to do? Not really exacting.
My previous roles have been aviation-related. Let’s plan a routine flight from Glasgow to Edinburgh. Ignoring all the calculations for take-off weight and whether the aircraft is balanced – it won’t tip either on its nose or tail – we need to have sufficient fuel for the flight. How much is sufficient? We could fill the aircraft up to the gunnels but we might then be overweight when we finally land. The fuel required will cover being sufficient to start up, taxi and take off, then to fly across at the altitude expected (what if we are requested to fly lower and burn more fuel?), to make the approach, land and shutdown. We also need to incorporate enough fuel to make an additional approach if the first attempt goes awry, and then divert to the nearest suitable airfield if a landing at Edinburgh is not possible. And we haven’t taken off yet.
In flight, one of my roles was to obtain the necessary weather forecasts at the various airfields en route – but on our journey, Edinburgh is so close, all we need to keep an eye out is for Edinburgh and our diversion airfield, which could have been Lossiemouth or even Lyneham in my day.
On the approach to the airfield we need to ensure that the cloud base, the lowest level of the clouds, is above the lowest altitude that our chosen electronic approach will permit. Sometimes we can make that approach but at a short distance from the end of the runway, or at a specific altitude, but see no signs of that huge stretch of tarmac, despite the plethora of lights along the centreline. At that moment of decision, we will have already got what we need to do in our minds. There’s no time to examine the information in depth at 200 feet, in cloud, and at a slow speed. We were already prepared. Then it’s off to either do the same approach again, just in case we can make it this time, or fly to the next alternate airfield.
What was the point of all that?
Some people say to me that it will be all right in the end.
Whatever calamity we are facing, it will all end ok.
Perhaps a multitude of examples of life have tended to prove this theory to them, and they are offering their wisdom to others. I can see that. I have even used it when writing to others, but it never seemed to sit well with me.
What I struggle with is that we are all ‘built’ differently. For some of us, we over prepare, not because we are wanting to overcomplicate the matter, but because that is who we are. It is our natural response. I feel that my anxiety soars with complexity. It stood me in great stead in the military role where nothing was certain, and anything could occur, and often did. You might plan one thing but you had better have plan B, C and D up your sleeve as well. When in teaching and the children had not clicked with the latest mathematical process, and you had to use a different technique; there was always another group of children who also found that too much – where was your Plan C then? In ministry, listening to people is often regarded as quite easy. When, in reality, it is by carefully listening that we can discern what might be the problem, but it is not mine to solve. Albeit ministers are not counsellors, by reflecting back what people have said, they themselves can see the situation in a different light. That patient approach requires many changes of plan – and it may not work. So what’s next?
Nevertheless, when the scenario is not in the military, or within the classroom, or with one occupying the ministerial role, that anxiety can still ramp up exponentially. For those who tell others to just go with the flow, I salute you. I’m glad that this works for you. For others, those with depression perhaps, it may not – in fact I’d suggest that it won’t. They will have their own strategy or more likely are trying to develop one, to counter the extremes of fluctuating anxiety. One response might be to just offering a listening ear: “what would you like to do next?“, being prepared for “I have no idea“, and having your own plan B, C and D.
Try walking in their shoes for a while, as they might like to walk in ours.
I found the dialogue interesting and I enjoyed
My thoughts: There are many things concerning an individual, not just depression or anxiety, that cannot be understood by anyone but themselves. In developing/under-developed countries, for instance, it is only recently that the educated section of society have started to mention depression or anxiety as an issue. For ages, no one even bothered about it. Still, there is social stigma associated with mental health in those world. Recently, I was listening to a podcast where they were said – people thought depression and anxiety is rich people’s disease as there was not a single case among the poor class.
Quite staggering. Even just to contemplate that we are all different, both physically and mentally, would be a start. Could we be spiritually different as well?
Our understanding of God / Spirituality could be different as well. Mostly, it depends on what is told to us by our parents / grandparents.
I have heard and read that anxiety stems from being a workaholic, perhaps after you told me. However, currently I am reading this book – “How to stop worrying and start living” by Dale Carnegie and yesterday came across a section that said – Why does such a simple thing as keeping busy help to drive out anxiety? Because of a law – one of the most fundamental laws ever revealed in psychology. And that law is that it is utterly impossible for any human mind, no matter how brilliant, to think of more than one thing at any given time.
It goes further to say – any psychiatrist will tell you that work – keeping busy – is one of the best anesthetics ever known for sick nerves. Wow!! This logic is what best fits me. Being very organized, I have kept myself very busy for more than 2 decades now. It actually keeps me going.
I think what matters is, we need to give equal importance to our physical and mental health as well, in the process which I think I been doing 🙂
That sounds really good. I was struck in my understanding of depression that there are core emotions which are ok. They are: fear, anger, sadness, disgust, joy, and excitement. Anxiety, together with guilt and shame, are classed as inhibitory emotions, denying life from our journey. I have found that anxiety is that confusion where we are not able to discern the way forward; it creates a spinning dimension to our world. I am not sure that the simple conclusion that to “stop worrying and start living” is a solution, especially given the considerable number of people with anxiety, let alone depression. Keeping busy can be a good deception technique, but it may not solve the actual problem. Those struggling with anxiety can make themselves busy merely trying to understand the problem that they see.
I agree that we do need to actively consider not just how physically fit we are, but also our mental and spiritual sense as well.
I agree with you on the fact that keeping busy can be a good deception technique and might not solve the actual problem. But I assume it prevents us from worrying furthering anxiety, although not resolving the existing anxiety.
Seeking validation from others, getting affected by negative comments from people, not being able to face rejections, the feeling of not getting heard, not getting recognized, feeling worthless, feeling guilty, shame, lonely etc. are probably some of the reasons for depression. Politics at the workplace can add salt to our wounds. When we are in our working phase of life, all this affects productivity if we don’t learn to set aside some time to go through these thoughts, which is challenging. I think analysis of self can probably form a part of our prayer to God that might enable us to accept who we are.
Mental health: Keeping ourselves engaged in something that we really enjoy might be helpful, but this is not possible when we are in the working phase of life. There are things like drawing, painting, learning new languages, practicing writing with the left hand, which are some of the things that can help the right part of the brain for those who have only used the left part of the brain during regular work. I had to learn basic German when I moved to Germany, and currently I am practicing writing with the left-hand …thanks to my Doctor Sister :-).
Just a thought related to the guilt factor of anxiety – if our God is a forgiving God, and we trust him for that, then why cannot we forgive ourselves ?
If{God=Forgives,If{We trust = God}, If{We forgive= Ourselves}}}
I think God is a forgiving God, albeit that statement implies that there are other gods.
I’ve mentioned trust before and what ‘trusting’ God means.
How we forgive ourselves, why we can’t or even won’t forgive is another matter. A lot of that is down to choice. Do we choose to move on?
Let me reframe my message again. I am not using the word “trust” here. 🙂
So, we believe that God forgives our sins if we seriously repent and ask for his forgiveness. Why do you think that God forgives us? I think it is because he wants us to move on and not keep feeling guilty about what we did in the past so that we can be closer to God and find peace. 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness”. This means we do not need to let shame and guilt control us.
quite agree!