Legacy

When you started to learn to ride a bike, it was hard work pushing those legs to turn the wheels, to gain some speed. After a while, with longer legs, it became easier; then cycling was wonderfully liberating along back roads and (of course only) on dedicated pathways. Then, we may have needed to help someone smaller learn to cycle. Pushing them carefully, often so lightly that they didn’t know we had a grip of their saddle, until eventually they were away and free.

So, how is this related to legacy? Is that, what is left behind when you’ve gone? Or is it more importantly what continues onwards without you? I prefer the latter. The wheel of the bike has begun to spin, and now it continues, free-wheeling on occasions.

Our time here in Strathclyde has been shorter than expected. I related recently that I must be the deacon with the shortest time of service – from ordination to retirement; the response was quick and clear – “at least you lasted longer than Liz Truss or the Lettuce”.

How might we remember our time?

We arrived in Covid. I recall been thrown the keys, safely from in excess of 2 metres; and a bedraggled drenched couple came upon our doorstep with some wonderfully hot food, just ready for our first meal. Thank you Andrew and Jill. Regrettably, when the Church offered us some rental properties, we had no idea of where any of the said 4 houses were in relation to the churches we were called to serve. Hence, no surprise, we found ourselves in a house in Newton Mearns, outside of Glasgow. This meant that we couldn’t even walk to our nearest church as that was inside the Glasgow boundary. Moreover, we lived off the bottom of the our puzzle map!

As it was Covid time, any church service was recorded so it were available via YouTube, or we interacted using Zoom.

Who had even heard of Zoom before Covid?

Tilly, our cat, would regularly walk into shot. On one occasion, Mandy was caught on all fours, in the background, encouraging Tilly to leave the room. This image (left) isn’t Tilly, but it might well describe how she may have felt. The knitting reminds us of the Knit & Knatter initiative, where around a dozen, predominately ladies, would meet on Zoom, at first weekly, then fortnightly, to have a blether. We would soon invite experts from Shetland and Staffordshire to explain how their lives had been entwined by knitting. But the Knit & Knitter team would also help the local area by creating more than a football team of teddies (above right, awaiting stuffing), which were sent to children in dire circumstances.

What we had was hope, hope that we could play our part, however small, in bringing communities together. Meeting with the local Pollokshaws Area Network, who do an amazing job in coordinating that local support; the coordinator at the food bank at Auldhouse community church, who does miracles with supporting folk who are, apparently according to the Government, able to survive so well – was inspirational.

It was good to witness for myself the Orange Order marches into Glasgow Green, to see the flags and crowns being used to bring home their message. I would also go to Provanmill to see the drums played on the Republican march, the banners depicting Bobby Sands – a reminder of the very deep divisions amongst our community. Oh by the way, I wouldn’t recommend wearing a blue t-shirt to the Republican march – you certainly stand out – or perhaps you should… We did invite a local Roman Catholic minister and a leader of the Orange Order to meet, so they could listen to each other, but this was declined by the Order. I was told, when I first mooted that I was interested in such a resolution, that I didn’t understand the depth and hurt that the two communities still feel. I must conclude that I didn’t, but still wish that the meeting had gone ahead.

Daughter’s Wedding

I had missed so much of our children’s life in previous years, so, it was so joyful to be present at our daughter’s wedding. I was able to read a Bible passage, and offer prayers for the couple, and Mandy read a beautiful poem she had written at the reception. Within Mandy’s poetry, Mandy has found her voice once again.

Soon, I was permitted to be admitted into the Methodist Diaconal Order. The service was in Walsall, and I was so surprised that people had come from not only relatively nearby Todmorden, but also Glasgow. I also felt very blessed by their presence.

Our work in support of the LGBTQ community continues

Every year we have held a short time to remember the Transgender community, especially on what is known as the Transgender Day of Remembrance or TDOR. It certainly might be seen as woke today, but it emphasises that God’s love is for all. Going on a Pride March in Glasgow was also positive, albeit those protesting – also from one of the Scottish church denominations – were heavily outnumbered.

LADLE

This weekly initiative at Pollokshaws Methodist Church represented an idea which promoted ‘Laugh Altogether Discuss Learn and Enjoy’. Here, we would offer homemade soup, a chunk of bread, cakes, biscuits and a hot drink to anyone who would pop in. We would have a session run by Glasgow Lifelink, who would offer great advice relating to improving our wellbeing. The following week we would have a Death cafe. Yes, it sounded unusual, but many people, who wouldn’t normally attend would come along. One lady came from Germany – twice – to enter into discussions. Why is it that we are more than willing to tell people how to run the country, but seldom wish to entertain the thought on how we would like to die, to even consider our last years. The Death Cafe came with a hefty dollop of humour. A legacy of this is the ongoing Death Cafe at the University of Glasgow, where I was a honorary chaplain.

Grandchild

We would also celebrate the arrival of our grandchild. This necessitated frequent trips to check on the expectant Mum and Dad, and then to visit the wee one, born many weeks premature. Even now, I marvel at the size of the impression of their feet on this card, and have such thanks for the dedication and care of the staff in that Neo-Natal centre. We are also so thankful to the ministerial staff and those across the churches who covered for us at such a time.

What else?

Yes, we had been sent some Tablet when we had first arrived, but that was far too sweet for our taste; however, a Clootie Dumpling, was so versatile. Able to be fried, baked or even eaten cold (especially with cold custard, Mandy’s favourite), this heavy weight delicacy was wonderful. I have always enjoyed visiting folk – not because of what delicacies were offered, although Rosemary’s Portuguese tarts were incredible – but just to listen. We so often listen to respond, whereas we might find it better if we listen to understand. Mandy & I also enjoyed the varied array of mugs in which our beverage was offered: especially this one – that always raised a smile, Vi.

It was very noticeable that the Coronation up in Scotland had a limited response. Yes we saw one or two streams of bunting, but if you wanted celebration and fireworks, just wait until Rangers score – it doesn’t happen often though. 😉

Onwards

I so enjoyed running in Glasgow. Once you had learnt to jump the potholes full of water, you were away. It was wonderful to ‘cross the Clyde’, go ‘northside’, and stop to take in iconic vistas. Running kept me afloat for many years. However, eventually, unless you seek to rectify the situation, you continue to struggle and sink. You can plan ahead, hope for a better life – but no amount of medication nor counselling is going to get us ‘out of the pit of depression’ until we ourselves realise where we are. Finding ourselves in the present, means that we can then start to see what needs to happen to extricate ourselves. For me, that meant to live, to flourish.

Reflections

In my year of counselling, as I came to that conclusion that I should seek to retire much earlier than I had ever considered previously, I had started to write. As a mathematician, this was difficult; but the benefits were significant.

So, it comes to an end. We move off again to pastures new, but this time where we can paint the walls a different colour than magnolia, where our schedules are defined by ourselves, and where our lives can thrive, not merely survive.

Legacy

So, what’s our legacy? Well, I hope it is related to being with folk, listening, and supporting. The emphasis on visiting folk for far longer than the prescribed 20 minutes, the regular sending of letters to those who were unable to access church, or that email or phone call of concern.

“Legacy isn’t a slime trail where people can see where you’ve gone.
Legacy is the ongoing natural cycle of that work continuing in your absence“

Bob Stoner, c2024

With church membership dwindling, the Methodist communities within Scotland becoming separated by greater distances, we can all too easily focus upon the structures, the buildings, and sadly leave those who have served the church for many decades but who are now unable to leave their flat or house. I have no solution to this quandary; other than to find what is important in terms of love, and do that.

May God bless you in all that you and are.