Are we ready to go? When we speak of death we talk in hushed tones, or do we look at our feet not wishing to engage eye-to-eye with the one we are in conversation with. Why is that?
The Todmorden Death Cafe met today at Todmorden Central Methodist Church – it’s a great venue for meeting others. There was coffee, tea and cake – what’s not to like?
We talked of the past, where people may spend their last days at home, with the family – possibly even the extended family. Was this that the family could surround them, at their time of need; or a way for the grieving to start collectively?
If the death was at the hospital or hospice, far more frequent occasion these days, have we moved the location but taken away some of the opportunities for closure? At home there were moments of being so close, not necessarily being in conversation, but being, silently as one – as lovers holding hands, not needing to speak.
In the past, many children might die at a very early age, causing much angst and trauma to the family. Now, with the breakthroughs in medical science our lives are, on average, extended – although some may question the quality of life in those ‘extra’ years.
Today we heard of people who did not attend the Coffee Morning because it was the Death Cafe. I wonder what they were expecting to meet? Surly not the Grim Reaper, nor to be measured up by the funeral director; however, what they could have seen was the wealth of different options, alternative ways of being buried or cremated, of ways that our lives could be celebrated… even before death.
There were booklets on offer to peruse, ideas to consider, material to explore.
With so many people now not opting for a religious funeral, have we really discerned what might be the best option for us all, or will we leave that decision until those moments after death when we are confused, dazed and perplexed?
I return finally to that first statement, heard this morning: “I am ready to go“. That’s a very brave thing to say. I wonder if we could grapple with that, pause to wonder whether we could say that: and if not, what’s left to do, to plan, to ponder, and to be.
For those who have a religious faith, why are we so afraid of death – given that, for Christians, Jesus died and returned? For those of a non-religious faith, is there still a fear with regard to death?
Please say in the comments below. Many thanks