In behind closed doors

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I wonder what it might be like to in a shelter, behind closed doors. When you are scared, confused, bewildered even. When the world you had always envisaged was there on your door step: freedom, food, fellowship, community. Now, what is left? Am I referring to the passage in John 20:19-31, when the disciples are behind closed doors?

Scars never completely go away, but neither do they hurt any longer.

Philip Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew, p219.

I, only once, had to take shelter in a room with closed doors. We scampered into a buried ISO container as the air raid sirens blared. Our hearts were pounding as we had just heard an enormous explosion, which had awoken me from my slumber after a night shift. A missile had been detonated by another missile right above our location. What’s more is that a missile-on-missile collision would result in debris raining down upon us.

When the doors were closed we tried to catch our breath. As the doors closed there was no light, just that awareness of a number of people sheltering, alone in their thoughts. As our eyes became accustomed to the gloom, we could just about see the expressions on each others’ faces. What would we have done for some peace then?

Ukraine

In Mariupol, Kharkiv and even Lviv there are people sheltering, deep down below the earth’s surface. They look intently at the eyes of those with them, around them, seeing the horror of the bombardment, the terror in the faces opposite.

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Shelter in Kyiv

Judea

In Judea, there were the disciples and women meeting, offering each other encouraging glances but bewildered at what had happened. Many, other than the women, had not understood what Jesus had been saying, intimating, of those past days. Did it really happen? They all had their own perceived outcome – and Jesus dying wasn’t one of them.

Why had Jesus died?

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What is Truth? (Christ and Pilate), detail of a painting by Nikolai Nikolaevich, 1890. Bridgeman Images

Given the New Testament, and especially the passage within John’s Gospel, it wasn’t about our sins. Pilate and Jesus had a frank conversation – who recorded this conversation is unknown given that they were alone. Jesus had confirmed that he was the King of Jews, that is what people say. How did Pilate know of this accusation? He was the one true ruler of this region, Caesar had told him so. There were to be no ‘other runners’ in this race. This would be treason. If this is so, for Pax Romana, this needed to be stopped – in any way possible. Someone had told the authorities of this statement, so that Pilate would be aware of it.

I am sure many of the disciples would have been ‘lent upon’ by the authorities to discern a chink in his armour. Whoever, from within the inner 12, had mentioned this may now be in a panic. Should be come clean?

Behind Closed Doors

Jesus appears in that room. He offers peace to all within the room.

When we say ‘the Peace’ is it a greeting? “How do you do” in religious parlance? Or is it an encouragement heard, seen, experienced by all?

The disciples are unable to speak, all except Thomas who seems to arrive late. He demands proof that it is Jesus. As the disciples look intently upon the scars, the wounds, we note that resurrection doesn’t erase the pain of the crucifixion.

Dorothy Sayers writes: “God did not abolish the fact of evil : He transformed it“. From the pits of tragedy, felt by all of the disciples, the women, and many others, we now see a transformation. The horrors of Easter have been turned into a memory. Philip Yancey writes: “the tears shed, the blows we receive, the emotional pain, the heartache one lost friends and loved ones, all these will become memories, like Jesus’ scars. Scars never completely go away, but neither do they hurt any longer.

Don’t dwell entirely in this scene, for it moves onwards: It is the point of inflexion, the bounce of the ball – moving onwards.

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